The Stepford Wives

Reel Critic Grade: C+ Running Time: 93 minutes Rated: PG-13

Somebody somewhere coined the phrase, “Nobody’s perfect”, but the women living in Stepford, Connecticut would disagree. Their world is filled with opulent mansions, luxurious automobiles, no crime, Betty-Crocker-quality baking, and sweat-free workouts in high heels. How can this be? They’re robots of course – literally. The Stepford Wives is a modern spin on the 1975 classic of the same name, which was based on the Ira Levin novel. This version has twisted the sci-fi/horror elements of the original into a comedy with just a smidge of thriller. With the exception of several witty one-liners and one or two fun performances, the film feels as stiff and lifeless as the Stepford Wives themselves.

Joanna Eberhart (Nicole Kidman) is our heroine. She is the female equivalent of Mark Burnett (of Survivor fame) and is the pinnacle of success in the reality television market. But, when a disgruntled reality show contestant goes on a shooting rampage, the network sacks her. Her not-so-successful, but caring husband, Walter (Matthew Broderick), quits his job at the same studio and decides a change of scenery would help get Joanna back on her feet. They move to Stepford.

Once in this ideal hamlet, Walter settles in with the men who meet daily at the Men’s Association. The leader of the Men’s Association (and seemingly the town) is Mike Wellington (Christopher Walken). It’s a storied life for the guys who have every toy they desire, no demands on their time, and wives willing to do anything for them.

Joanna, on the other hand, is out of her element amongst the flawlessly put-together wives of Stepford. At a book club meeting hosted by Claire Wellington (Glenn Close), Joanna tries to bring up a discussion on her recent read of LBJ’s bio and is shut down in favor of a book on holiday decorating. She does find pals in two other new arrivals to Stepford, Bobbie (Bette Midler), a renowned author, and Roger (Roger Bart), a well-known and colorful gay designer. When strange things start to happen, Joanna and pals try to piece together the puzzle.

The ending provides a decent twist followed by what can only be described as an, “oops”, in the writing. Here, I was laughing at the movie not with it. The end also reveals a bounty of plot holes that I have to assume we are supposed to overlook.

Director Frank Oz (In & Out, The Score) and writer Paul Rudnick (In & Out, Adams Family Values) haven’t embarrassed themselves, but they shouldn’t stand proud either. Part of the problem is this is a remake of a well-known story. Even though they’ve made this version a laugher (or at least tried to), the story still relies on uncovering the secret of Stepford to drive the film. The fact that we know the secret going in takes away from the pace and energy. To Rudnick’s credit, the one-liners did make me laugh and several of the characters were a treat to watch. (An interesting side-note on Frank Oz, he has voiced the character of Yoda for all of the Star Wars films.)

Nicole Kidman’s acting was marginal as the fired-up TV executive, but grew on me once she got to Stepford. I like her in fun roles and think she should do more. (For the record, I like her better in short brown hair.) Bette Midler and Roger Bart were the true comedians of the film. I can’t say I’ve been a huge Bette Midler fan over the years, but I’m a convert now. For his part, Roger Bart brought a playfulness to the film which kept it light and fun while the brooding music played in the background. He instantly sparked life into every scene he was in. He is next starring in The Producers in 2005. Matthew Broderick was forgettable, but not because of his acting skills – he’s tremendously talented. His character just wasn’t written with any depth; a shame. Chistopher Walken was himself, which means odd and a little creepy. It’s the same character he plays in most roles and nobody can do it like Walken (except maybe Dennis Hopper).

The world will always strive for perfection, in one form or another. In film, perfection comes from eliciting the desired response from your audience (and big box office). The Stepford Wives is far from perfection.