Van Helsing

Reel Critic Grade: B Running Time: 131 minutes Rated: PG-13

Like the Frankenstein Monster, Van Helsing is a movie made up of stolen concepts, stitched to gether with a dash of original vision, and juiced up with enough technology to bring it to life. And, like our big-boy Frank, the film lives large, even though its IQ registers somewhere near zero.

Van Helsing tells the story of fabled monster hunter Gabriel Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) and his assignment to rid the world of Dracula once and for all. What Van Helsing doesn’t know is the neck-bighting Count has a host of monster-movie friends in town including, the Werewolf (Will Kemp), Frankenstein (Shuler Hensley), Igor (Kevin J. O’Conner), and his trio of blood-sucking brides.

Apparently, Dracula (Richard Roxburgh) and his concubines have made lots of whoopee over the millennia resulting is thousands of cocooned batlings, who by way of lineage, are not alive – yet. What they need is the secret-of-life hidden within Frankenstein and Drac will do anything to bring his love-brood to wing; including forcibly employing his brothers in the monster trade. The whole bring-the-babies-to-life story-line is ridiculous, but it provides the engine that drives the spectacle, so I’ll let it slide.

Van Helsing arrives in Transylvania with Carl (David Wenham), a monk with a dead-pan sense of humor and an eerie similarity to the James Bond gadget creator, Q. In town, they meet up with the black-leather-bustier-wearing, pirate-boot-stomping, sword-swinging beauty, Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale). She is the last in a line of, to date, unsuccessful sworn Dracula killers. There is the usual leading man, leading lady tension, but soon, Anna and Van Helsing are working together toward their mutual goal. From here it’s a non-stop action ride to the end.

The acting is often over the top, but then so is most of the film. Hugh Jackman is the perfect destroyer of monster dreams. He carries a quiet strength and a ready smirk, which fits with the overall tone of the film. Kate Beckinsale must have a dark side to go with her usual good-girl persona. This is her second vamp flick. She starred last year in the vampire vs. werewolf film, Underworld (which I recommend). It seems producers and studio execs discovered that a woman in tight, black outfits, who can kick-butt with the best of them, really appeals to the core audience in this genre – men. I’m all for it. David Wenham is a scene stealer as Carl; with some of the best lines in the film. Comedic side kicks are a staple in Hollywood - because they work. All the monster actors do a respectable job in their performances, with special mention going to Shuler Hensley. His Frankenstein isn’t the board-stiff grunter of old, but a sympathetic creature you care about and want to root for.

Writer/director Stephen Sommers (of The Mummy fame) has created a visual thrill-ride for those who like the genre. Actually, his films almost create a whole new genre – action-adventure-horror (or campy horror). His script combined elements of James Bond, Indiana Jones, and the classic horror stories and came up with an overall fresh concept. The tweaks he made to the incarnations of the monsters were mostly impressive; the vampires have Alien-like expandable jaws with huge fangs and morphed at will from hottie to naughty, the Werewolf peeled off layers of flesh to reveal the monster coming forth and moved with the swiftness and agility of a cheetah on speed, and Frankenstein walked with some sort of steam joint apparatus on one leg and had cool see-through areas on his head and chest pulsing with electrical energy. The biggest disappointment was Dracula’s beastly self. He looked like a cross between a steroid-pumped bat and a hung-over, pasty-white demon. The computer generated image was a let down, but only because the vision wasn’t there.

In our computer age, most summer-tent-pole films are far more eye-candy than story substance. Van Helsing is no exception. This is normally fatal to a big-budget, wanna-be blockbuster. However, Van Helsing’s entertaining visuals, relentless action, and the familiar faces of our favorite monsters, resurrect it from certain death. In the words of Dr. Frankenstein, “It’s alive! Alive!”