January 11, 1922.  The back room of Values at Tiny’s General Store, somewhere in America.

“What’s the matter Boss? Why the long face?”

“Oh, it’s all this-here inventory I’m stuck with,” Tiny complained.  “Sales were slow over Christmas, and I’ve got all this darn candy that didn’t sell.  I still got me four cases a’ those stuffed bears I thought the kiddies would want.  And to top it all off, that fast talk’n’ salesman from Omaha sold me all that red wrapp’n paper, an’ it didn’t sell neither.  I got me a back room stuffed to the rafters with choco-lat and stuffed bears and red paper, and nothin’ to do with it!”

“That is a problem Boss.  Ain’t no holi-days coming up where people want candy nor stuffed bears until the Fourth of Ju-ly.  And if it gits hot like it did last spring, we’ll have us a big ol’ puddle of choco-lat long before anyone gits to buying anything.”

“See, that’s just it,” said Tiny.  “Ain’t enough holi-days where people eat candy.  Nobody wants the darn stuff for Washington’s or Lincoln’s birthdays.  Easter’s okay, but it’s all bunnies and junk, not stuffed bears, and none of the boxed choco-lats like we got all over this here back room.  I’m gonna go broke!”

“Ya know whatcha outta do, Boss?  You outta invent yerself a new holi-day where’s ya can move all this junk.  One that’s all about candy and stuffed bears!  Now wouldn’t that jus’ be sumthin!”
Tiny paused, looking at his assistant with new respect.  “Buford, you’re mostly an idiot.  But this time, you’ve actually hit on something.  A brand new holi-day!  One that’s all about buy’n’ stuffed bears ya don’t need and then swallow’n’ down just as much choco-lat as a person can possibly stomach an’ still be a-standin’!  

“Boss, I was just joshin’ wit ya.  I didn’t mean to actually-”

“Hush up Buford.  Don’t ruin the only good thought you’re likely to have this year by tryn’ to think about it.  It’s a good idea because I said it’s a good idea, and it’s the best way to get rid a’ all this candy and stuff!  But first we need a theme.  Some reason to have a holi-day where people buy lots and lots of candy and stuffed bears and things.  Hey Melanie – come on in here!”

Melanie, Tiny’s star – and only - salesperson came in from the front of the store.  “What!  I’ve got things to do out there you know!”

“Never mind that now.  I got me a brainstorm to move all this here candy an’ these cases a’ stuffed Teddy bears.  Quick now, you’re a female-type person.  If I was want’n’ to invent me a holi-day, what do you recon would get a person would buy some candy or a stuffed bear.”
Melanie looked at Tiny and Buford, shook her head, but knew better than to ask.  She thought for a moment.  “Well, there’s birthdays and anniversaries, but those won’t work for a holiday.  So, two other times.  When a man’s courting a woman, or when he’s in trouble and trying to get his butt out of the doghouse.”

Tiny chewed on that a moment.  “Soooo.  Man and woman stuff.  Re-lay-shun-ships.”  He sounded out the word, a bit foreign on his tongue.  More mental chewing.  “Yeah.  YEAH!!  By gosh and by golly, it’s perfect.  Ain’t no-one gonna spend money like a guy pursuing a gal.  If we tell ‘im candy’s the way to her heart, and then pile on an extra heap’n’ a’ guilt if he don’t buy a big Teddy bear to go with it, why he’ll practically buy out the store!”
Buford sat in the corner, a happy grin on his face, mentally taking all the credit even though he had no idea what was going on.  Then another thought crossed his mind, two in one day being some kind of new record.
“Boss – that’s good for the candy and them bears.  But what about all them boxes a’ red wrapp’n’ paper that Omaha slickster stuck you with?”

Tiny paused again, looking back and forth between Buford and Melanie.  Once again, it was Melanie who came to the rescue.

“Oh for goodness sakes.  You two couldn’t shake loose of a good thought if you had a tree full of them.  If you’re going to make this all about love and stuff, red’s a perfect color.  Tear the Christmas paper off the candy boxes and the Teddy bears and then re-wrap them in red.  And cut out some stars or something from whatever red paper we have left, and put ‘em up around the store.”

“Stars,” Buford asked?  “That just don’t seem right somehow.” This was his third consecutive good thought, setting a mark he was never able to equal again in his lifetime.  

“Fine.  Moons or firecrackers or hearts.  Anything to use up the stupid paper.”

“Hearts,” said Tiny.  “Hearts are good.  Easy to make, and somehow they seem kinda lovey.  Hearts it is.”  

He nodded again.  “So, we got us a theme for our brand-spankin’ new holi-day.  It’ll be all about guys chasing gals and buying ‘em lots and lots of choco-lat and stuffed bears, ‘cause that’s what we got here in inventory.  We’ll convince ‘em that the more they buy, the more the women’ll think they care!  Now all we needs is a name.”

“How about ‘Kick-A-Happy-Couple Day’,” said Melanie.  “That works for me.”

Tiny just shook his head.  “You sure is a bitter woman.  How’s about somethin’ just a tad more upbeat?”

The three sat and stared at each other, but no ideas came to mind.  Finally, Tiny spoke up.  “Well, it’s my holi-day, and my store, so I’m gonna name it after me.”

“’Tiny’s Day’”, said Melanie?  “’Overstocked Candy Day’ ‘Red Paper Day’?  None of that makes any sense, Boss.”

“Okay, okay.  It’s Values at Tiny’s General Store.  We drop the General Store, an’ shorten up the Value and the Tiny’s, an’ then maybe combine ‘em.”  He grabbed the stub of a pencil and began scribbling.  “So how about ‘Val and Tiny’s Day’?”

“Shorter”, said Melanie.

“Val-N-Tin’s Day?”

“Perfect.  Now let’s start wrapping candy boxes and cutting out those stupid red paper hearts.”

And, as they say, the rest is history…..

Paul Bianchina can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it for comments.